And the honesty and communication you are modeling with your struggles sets the stage for everyone to be more honest with each other.

Here is my laughable attempt at a selfie with him after I got another star (just always keeping it real here at Joy in the Works!!)īeing real and vulnerable with your family can actually bring you all closer together because if you let your kids encourage you in the process, it makes them feel like their voice matters, that they are a contributing member of your family. He acted so proud of me and knew that I was working hard to be a better mom to him.

In fact, my 6 year old and I worked together as a team today as he put stars on my chart every time I told him I was frustrated and angry instead of raising my voice. If your kids and your spouse know you are trying to stop yelling as often or quit drinking diet coke or get more exercise, then they can help track your progress and encourage you in your attempt. Putting up a chart on the wall shows that mommy is owning up to the behavior, taking responsibility for it and making an effort to change it.Īnother, more obvious, benefit of having your own rewards chart for your whole family to see is the simple accountability it gives you. It shows that they won’t simply accept the negative part of ourselves as something they are stuck with. What’s even better is when the adult models making the effort to change that bad habit. When an adult comes out and puts a reward chart on the refrigerator with a behavior they want to change, it shows the child that not only do adults struggle just like kids, but they are willing to admit it too. As they say, change starts at home and I actually think something like a star chart for mommy can help. There is so much pressure on children (and adults!) to be everything and do everything just right and I think we need to take a stand against that pressure. Seeing your parents as fallible, gives kids permission to admit they are the same. But, here is why I think it is important: first, kids need to see that mommies and daddies make mistakes, that they aren’t perfect and that they too have areas that need improvement. I know it might seem crazy that mommy has her own reward chart on the refrigerator next to the one that’s rewarding Billy for not hitting his brother. That’s why I think that Mommy needs a star chart too! I think if we are honest with ourselves, we all do. (Don’t worry I can acknowledge that I am a pretty awesome mom too! ) But the point is, I have lots of habits that I want to break. I yell too often, am impatient, forgetful and I am frequently late! I could go on and on about the things I want to work on improving as a mom and in other areas of my life. I confess I am an extremely imperfect mom. I have seen check lists and sticker charts and even ones with money, toys and treasures attached! Which begs the question, how can moms get in on that action? I want some of the goods too! In fact, I firmly believe that moms should use be using something like star charts for themselves. And no, they aren’t always just for stars. Have you ever noticed that one of the go-to strategies to help kids with behavior change or working toward a goal is using some sort of star chart or rewards based record system? It seems to be the standard in positive reinforcement for kids.

Star chart printable free